The Naked World Is Not Ruined

Events have conspired against us. Note the passive voice. I would like to believe that we have not contributed to our own misery. We thought that the visa process would be quick and painless. It has proved (proven?) to be neither. In-depth searches on the internet - all you can do when stranded stateside - have revealed the fickle, impenetrable and sinister workings of the British Consulate. But who knew? It has caused us much pain to be apart, having to revert to skype chats and to have our relationship resume the abstract quality that we thought was firmly a part of history.

At least, we thought, we would have a temporary respite from this slow drip of loneliness, as James and Sarah were due at Logan Airport on Sunday, Dec. 26. (We would be reunited for our impending wedding on New Year's Eve.) On Sunday, Sarah and James were scheduled to leave Heathrow at 11:00 a.m. (GMT) but strangely their departure entered a series of delays. Oh no! Will they make it? Hours of texting and refreshing the British Airways website. And then yes, a reprieve! They caught the last flight out of Heathrow and made it across the Atlantic. Yippee! The British Airways site said the flight was due in a little after 6:00 p.m. A drive to the airport through slippery, snowy streets and a slushy turnpike. I entered terminal E at Logan to see a couple was hugging upon their reunion. I looked up at the arrivals board.  "Flight 213 - Diverted/See Agent." The delay forced them into the teeth of, what will be known as, the Blizzard of 2010. The plane has been detoured to Toronto.

Now don't get me wrong. I like winter storms and find comfort in the warmth and shelter of home. But when it separates from your loved ones, you see the harsh side of nature. After a full day of anticipation, the slow drip continued.

Or has the dam of devastation broken? Our wedding ceremony may be in jeopardy. I'll see today. In Massachusetts, you apply for a marriage certificate and have to wait three days to return to pick up the license. Our timing was precise but left no margin for...well, I can't call it error...acts of nature. I will find out today if we can proceed with the help of a hopefully, flexible bureaucracy. Will someone come in to the Northampton city clerks office on Friday - when they are closed - to issue us a marriage license? (Can you hear the timpani?)

Am I making this sound melodramatic? Do we sound like passive victims of events? I can't help it. I'm willing to entertain a little self-pity. I have missed the past two months of Sarah's pregnancy. She has been distraught at times and then, as is her nature, regains her composure, and resets her expectations. I have missed valuable time with James, that was to be spent enjoying each other and strengthening our bond. I wanted and want him to be secure in our relationship before the baby is born.

But, the naked world is not ruined. This phrase came to me at three in the morning. Strip away the immediate travails and look at the essentials. Whatever happens in the next week - in terms of the wedding - and in the next months - in terms of my visa, we still have our love for each other.  Eventually we will return to our life together. I try to embrace this thought.

But these may be the last ramblings of a man before he enters and institution. And I don't mean marriage.

While we're waiting...

Still no news on the visa.  I am considering a move to Dar Es Salaam in Tanzania to resubmit my application to the UK because the visa processing times are more favorable there.

I won't be able to see James open his Xmas gifts this year. To compensate for our "misfortune", Sarah and James, arriving on the day after Xmas, will be staying an extra week. We'll get in some skiing the first week of January. By then the slopes will be clear of the vacationers.

We're still moving ahead with our plans to have the baby and have decided to have a boy. Sarah had her scan last Thursday. Sarah told James the news and discussed possible names with him. She mentioned the name "Lucas" which was proposed by my family at Thanksgiving. James said, for some reason, that to be a Lucas, you need to have blond hair. When Sarah said the baby may be a redhead, he quickly offered "Rodney." No offense to anyone named Rodney but it's not in the running but is now serving as a moniker for the bump.

In other news, we're getting married in a very small ceremony on New Year's Eve day. For a complicated set of reasons, this is our window of opportunity. About a year ago, when Sarah and I were discussing the visa options, she offered, "Worst comes to worst, we can always get married." What a romantic. Marriage will not immediately help our visa status but once I receive my visa I can turn around and apply for a partner's visa.

Visa Time II

December 6, 2010

I wish I could tell you that the visa came and we're all set. Sorry.

The British Consulate has updated the visa processing times with Oct. 2010 data.

Settlement Visas	2 days	3 days	5 days	10 days	15 days	30 days	60 days	90 days	120 days	Total decisions made
Settlement	22%	28%	34%	39%	46%	73%	99%	100%	100%	149

Compared to September, they had three times as many visas submitted and the processing time took at least twice as long. Days means business days. We are now at day 17. The data for September were more hopeful. For example, in September, by the 15 day mark, 74% were processed.

But more silver lining to this waiting period. I was able to see the Hopper exhibit at the Whitney in NY. And yesterday, I was able to celebrate my brother Harvey's birthday with him in Cambridge. Good to spend time again with Rebecca and my nieces.

Sarah and I have adjusted our longer term plans to deal with reality. I will stay in the states and run for president in 2012. We're getting fed up with Obama's capitulation to the Republicans (I had a hard time using a capital "r") by extending the Bush tax cuts for two more years. How could he do that?

Sarah and James will be coming to the states on December 26. I was supposed to be coming with them. It looks like I will miss the 20-week scan on Dec. 16 when we will learn the gender of "Ginger/Red." (We're not disclosing names yet.) This is a great big bummer added to the disappointment of not being with Sarah and James to enjoy this time of year and the excitement about the baby. I can only hope that I will be flying back with them in the new year.

Well, gotta go to the hardware store. Sarah and I are planning to chain ourselves to the British Consulate gates over the holiday. Look for us on the evening news. Is anyone available to watch James?

Visa Time

"Oh to be in England" - Robert Browning

Wednesday, Nov. 3:

I am in Boston to have my Biometrics done for my visa application. It seems like Sarah and I have been strategizing around my visa and the implications for so long. Which visa? When? How long will it take? How do we work this around work, ultrasounds, etc.? Filling out the lengthy form. Assembling all the supporting documents. Email correspondence. Bank statements. Pictures of us together. Pictures of James. Mortgage statements. Birth certificates. Evidence of Sarah’s income as my sponsor.

As my sponsor, Sarah must demonstrate that I won’t be a burden on the system. That she can support me. They don’t realize that she goes off to work while I do all the heavy lifting, e.g. doing the wash, yardwork, etc. 

Sarah fears I will be stuck in the states longer than the two weeks, at most, it will likely take to process my visa. She has already said that if it takes longer than three weeks, she is pulling James out of school and coming to the states.

Today I’m going to the Application Support Center, opposite the Boston Garden, to have my Biometrics done as part of the visa application process. Sounds so futuristic. This probably only means finger printing but I’m hoping that they will also scan my retina and fit me for some new glasses.

When I entered the center, I was handed number 756 as part of the passive and impersonal process. “Move here.” “Sit here.” “Move down three chairs.” “Next.”  However, very efficient. I arrived an hour early to reduce my anxiety and was processed in a half an hour. Biometrics done. My BMI is 26. I need to lose a little weight. And my triglycerides were a little high. Ha!

The Application Support Center was the typical bureaucratic, drab powder blue. Would  powder blue be drab in your house? Maybe you can also get drab Egg Shell, or drab Ochre. The can must have specific instructions: “For use in government offices only.”

There was also an old 1’ x 3’ map in a case, bolted to the wall, of all the shipwrecks around Sable Island. Pretty random. Once home, my research revealed that Sable Island and the accompanying wrecks are up in Nova Scotia. I can’t make the connection to the Application Support Center, unless it relates to immigration back in the days of ocean travel.

Afterwards, I ran over to FedEx and shipped the two-inch thick packet, including confirmation the completion of my biometrics, that we had assembled for the Future Partners Visa to the British Consulate.

As we now fret over the uncertainty of my return to England, some personality traits are illuminated. Sarah pretends to be an optimist but this process reveals her methodology. She prepares herself with the worst-case scenario (“I’ll see you at Christmas, honey.”) and is then happy when it works out better. I tend to be optimistic (Can you say “naïve”, Pangloss?), thinking it will work out according to plan, the most expedient route.

Monday, Nov. 8:

The British Consulate sent an email today confirming receipt of our application. The letter states that the visa will be processed within 5-10 business days. They clearly state that we should not try to contact them within that time but may contact them if they exceed the 10 days.

Wednesday, Nov. 24:

The 10 days have expired and the visa has not been processed yet. We have had no contact or information from the British Consulate. I called my congressman's office and was told by a staffer that the embassies have, in the past, told them to mind their own business. In fact, she commented that an inquiry from the congressman's office would likely extend the processing time or quickly result in a rejection. With that information, I wrote to the consulate a careful, diplomatic, deferential email seeking information on the status of our application.

It’s been great to see family and friends but I am now feeling like an exile. Sarah is attending doctors’ appointments without me. In three weeks, she is having the scan where we will learn the gender of the baby. These events are supposed to be shared.

While I get to spend more time with my family for Thanksgiving, we had to cancel our Brent Pelham Thanksgiving scheduled for this Sunday.

Tuesday, Nov. 30:

The saga continues. No response to my email to the consulate. I called British Airways to reschedule my flight two weeks hence and was informed that it would cost an additional $450. I cancelled the flight. My optimism is beginning to look a lot like wishful thinking while Sarah pessimism is looking more realistic.

My tenant returned to Northampton from her two week trip to California and Washington state. I’m now itinerant, in NYC for a second round of visits with family and friends. James has begun to ask, again, when I am coming home.

If I am still stranded in the states when Sarah goes into labor (not really, since she is having a c-section), I'll be sending around a petition for your signatures, requesting that I be placed in a nice mental health facility with kindly orderlies. 

More updates to follow, unfortunately. If only we knew someone who had some influence with the British Consulate.

As Robert Browning wrote, “Oh to be in England” (http://poemsandprose.blog.co.uk/2009/08/23/oh-to-be-in-england-6798761/). I’m out of season but the sentiment still fits.